As I struggled to roll the ridiculously long, awkward black beast towards the bus I noticed the gaping gorge up to the step of the bus. I heaved the bag to stand up next to me and grabbed the handle in readiness to lift it onto the bus.

Once on I leant my friend, taller than me, on the baggage area, me standing tall adjacent to ensure the wheels didn’t propel it across the aisle, and fumbled in my pocket for the travelpass, people squeezing themselves past down into the seats.

Travelpass in, green machine digestive noise, Travelpass out.

Still keeping the bag tall I walked it into a wheelchair space, thankfully senior citizens had avoided me and kept this space for special needs travelers free.

Finally in a somewhat stable position, holding the bag hostage against the window, with an arm around it to hold onto the pole tightly, I hear a senior male voice.

“Excuse me?”

“Yes,” I answer, expecting to be berated for taking up the spot usually reserved for he and his bingo mates.

“It’s lucky you don’t play the piano.”

As a young, aspiring journalist I take pride in the fact that I can and do write and speak from a neutral, unbiased perspective. I prefer to take the statements of others with a grain of salt, instead thoroughly researching issues myself, to ensure what I’m putting on the public record is indeed, substantiated fact.

I believe you have failed to do this recently. Instead of doing your own research, you have in fact used old and since discredited material from Gunns’ PR machine.

I refer specifically to your claim which you made on the 24th of June 2009 in your statement: “Preparing our forest industries for the future,” that construction of the Gunns Pulp Mill would create 8,000 direct and indirect jobs and a further 1,500 jobs during its operation. This claim appears to be a carbon copy of a Gunns’ PR statement made in September 2008.

Please set the record straight for the Australian public and potential financial investors, with regards to any creation of jobs and perceived economic benefits that may come with the creation of the Gunns Pulp Mill in Tasmania. Please do your own research. Please speak on behalf of the Australian public. Not Gunns.

Yours Sincerely

Jessica Gardner
28th July 2009

“Excuse me?”

I turned to the young woman sitting next to me. She was seated next to the window, on our shared seat, on the Eastern Suburbs line train. We were sitting at Edgecliff station, hesitating, the driver waiting that extra moment for somebody to scramble down the escalators and leap into the carriage. As I removed my earphones, I put on my approachable face and replied “yes?” ready to impart information about the next stop, how to get to Bondi Beach or where did I buy this cute top I was wearing.

“What kind of foods are high in fibre?”

Okay… Not what I was expecting. As I did a quick scan through the knowledge aisle marked nutrition, my brain struggled with the surprising question and offered up not answers, but some irrational motives behind it.

“Umm, well.”

The young woman was like a mystery shopper for the Nutrition Society of Australia, pouncing on unaware public transport citizens for the Australian Attitudes and Understanding of the Importance of Fibre in Everyday Diets report.

“Umm. I think fruit and vegetables are pretty high in fibre.”

She was a PhD student analysing spontaneous communication between strangers. I was a lab rat in her study entitled Quality of Information Gained from Unsuspecting Strangers. Her hypothesis was that the more surprising the question, the lesser the quality of the answer. I’d show her.

“Oh, and also breads and cereals. Yeah, grainy cereals. Especially, rough cereals. You know, the boring ones, like All Bran.”

Whilst sitting next to me since Central, she’d scanned my biometric data, found out I’d done a Bachelor of Science majoring in Anatomy and Physiology and wanted to test my memory of gastric physiology (Thursday 8am lecture, PHSI 2002, August 2002: Amylase, an enzyme found in saliva, breaks starch down to maltose in the mouth. The stomach secretes mucus to protect its epithelial walls from being digested by its own acids and enzymes. Pepsin, the digestive protease, formed by the autocatalytic cleaving of the amino acid chain pepsinogen, breaks down protein in the gut. Damn. Nothing about fibre.).

“Why?” I enquired, sure I was on the money with one of my predictions.

“Oh my doctor said I needed to have more fibre in my diet. It’s really important you know. I saw a thing about it on A Current Affair. You know, you have to start taking your health seriously when you get older. I’m twenty-one now. When I was younger I could eat anything I wanted. But I just can’t do it anymore. When I was younger my Mum used to buy those 3 large pizzas, a garlic bread and a Pepsi and we would eat it, there’s three of us, you know, siblings and I could probably eat a whole pizza to myself and then start on the next one and I would just be starving. But it’s different now. But thanks for telling me that. I was too embarrassed to ask the doctor. He would think ‘don’t you know?’ And I couldn’t ask my family, they would say ‘didn’t you go to school?’ or something like that. But so now I’ll have to have more fruit and vegies and breads and cereals. It’s important. You can’t just always eat McDonalds, but I have to say I’m thinking of having some now. A friend said the other day she was thinking of having McDonalds for breakfast and I said ‘gross’ but now I’m thinking of having some. You don’t know what’s in them though. There was another thing on A Current Affair did you see it?”

“Umm. No.” (I couldn’t bring myself to say that I wouldn’t watch that sensationalist, formulaic crap presented by that holier than thou Grimshaw princess if you paid me, but that’s another blog entry.)

“Well it was saying that lots of food don’ t have the right ingredients on the label and people don’t really know what they’re eating and it’s a big thing, you know. You could be eating anything and it’s so important. But people just don’t know. There’s all sorts of chemicals and stuff. And did you hear what happened at Bankstown station?”

“Umm. No. Today?”

“No. a couple of weeks ago. Suicide apparently. I’ve been trying to find out about it. You know, I watched World News on Foxtel but nothing came up about it. I watched you know that day and the next day but nothing. I really want to know what happened. I think it was a girl… … … …”

Etc Etc Etc Etc.

Finally we pulled into Bondi Junction and it was clear to me, she wasn’t a nutrition mystery shopper, linguistics studier, biometric data and mind-reader. She just wanted to talk.

And though it may be nice to end this with some comment on the fractured nature of modern society where a simple question of food leads to my questioning of her motives I prefer to say that it was bizarre.

Yet quite refreshing.